Anger is one such feeling that has caused more destruction to mankind than any other. It has caused loss of time, loss of people, loss of efforts, loss of opportunity, loss of mental balance, loss of humanity!
Often I come across my own people, who have no control over their anger! They can't manage the strong feeling within and it comes out in almost any direction. Repercussions are borne by others and by themselves in a huge manner. I have also seen same people regretting in half an hour, getting back to normal like nothing happened. I have also witnessed same people shouting and howling at anyone coming their way. I have witnesses people hitting and apologizing like its so fixable.
Sometimes these are our own nearest and dearest people and however hard one tries, one cannot disconnect so easily with them. But people especially women have spent their lives dealing with this stress of not taking a step against these people thinking they are their own. People at the suffering end have paid and are paying huge prices for such angry birds.
Kare koi aur, bhare koi aur! - is what the situation becomes.
Why don't you uncage yourself from suffering this shit? Don't be helpless. The world has changed and it no more believes in the principle of ek maara toh dusra gaal aage karo! the one slapping is never going to stop, possibly you might get hurt big time in this process. Life is anyways too short to be at the suffering end.
I have also seen people overcoming their anger in a very systematic manner and have come out as winners. One of the biggest examples would be our very own captain Virat Kohli. The way he was on and off field and the way he is now, one can just be proud of this man and the way he has uplifted himself, managing and directing his anger in the right direction. But these days, every random guy with a beard like him thinks he has seen the same struggle and has the same capabilities. Wake up man, the power is not in the beard!
Last but not the least, once the damage is done, nothing can get back you the time, nothing can unhurt the minds you have knowingly or unknowingly hurt, nothing can do good to you, nothing will save you from the self-destruction, nothing will gain you respect from your own people.
Realize before its too late
Manmukta
Where the mind is free..
Wednesday, 7 April 2021
Anger
Saturday, 18 April 2020
Boys don't grow up to be Mums!
One fine afternoon, watching the road from my balcony wrenched my heart into pieces. Felt like I often took roads for granted. COVID 19 has caused life to come to a stand still, everything is paused. What on earth could possibly make me get down there to reach my beautiful destination called "Home"!
"Home" now has two meanings for me! One that I was born in and the other where I shall give birth to someone! I had once written about how we take Men for granted, how their entire life is planned and how they become such puppets of the dominant ideology of patriarchy!
However if "A" is suffering and we all are discussing about A's problems, and say "B" is suffering too, but we all are so tired of discussing B's problems again and again that we just stop doing that, but that does not deny the fact that B has problems and that there is suffering.
Well! there are women raised by some great men who believe in equality and these men take that risk to jump out of the zone defined by years and years of beliefs to respect and protect the dignity of a woman. These men run with an ideology of having a strong faith in womanhood. Then there are men who are extremely proud of the masculinity inherited. Masculinity is a crisis I feel. It gives birth to Misogyny. And much worse.
We believe in Nature, we talk of Nature defining gender roles. So what happens is, a mother gives birth to a male child, she is considered to be the primary care taker. She raises the child with utmost care and affection. The child, growing up, realizes he is not like his mother, he is like his father. Boys don't grow up to be Mums. This is the point of tremendous confusion for boys. So distancing themselves from the mother and in partial isolation, however modernized a man is, he adapts to the traditional old beliefs set for a man, more or less.He also chooses a caretaker for his unborn child and the cycle continues!
Why are these gender roles already established and why don't we question them? Why can't we let the person choose his or her own roles? Why do we always think in the same pattern when it comes to a Woman and also a Man? Are we creating more misogynists in this cycle? Are we not fully utilizing the power of womanhood? or are we over utilizing it?
Think..!
"Home" now has two meanings for me! One that I was born in and the other where I shall give birth to someone! I had once written about how we take Men for granted, how their entire life is planned and how they become such puppets of the dominant ideology of patriarchy!
However if "A" is suffering and we all are discussing about A's problems, and say "B" is suffering too, but we all are so tired of discussing B's problems again and again that we just stop doing that, but that does not deny the fact that B has problems and that there is suffering.
Well! there are women raised by some great men who believe in equality and these men take that risk to jump out of the zone defined by years and years of beliefs to respect and protect the dignity of a woman. These men run with an ideology of having a strong faith in womanhood. Then there are men who are extremely proud of the masculinity inherited. Masculinity is a crisis I feel. It gives birth to Misogyny. And much worse.
We believe in Nature, we talk of Nature defining gender roles. So what happens is, a mother gives birth to a male child, she is considered to be the primary care taker. She raises the child with utmost care and affection. The child, growing up, realizes he is not like his mother, he is like his father. Boys don't grow up to be Mums. This is the point of tremendous confusion for boys. So distancing themselves from the mother and in partial isolation, however modernized a man is, he adapts to the traditional old beliefs set for a man, more or less.He also chooses a caretaker for his unborn child and the cycle continues!
Why are these gender roles already established and why don't we question them? Why can't we let the person choose his or her own roles? Why do we always think in the same pattern when it comes to a Woman and also a Man? Are we creating more misogynists in this cycle? Are we not fully utilizing the power of womanhood? or are we over utilizing it?
Think..!
Wednesday, 21 February 2018
DEAR INDIAN PARENTS
Hi,
Hello,
Pranaam!
I cannot understand what a nut cracking job it is to be an Indian Parent and I think I never want to!
I cannot understand how pressurize you feel when you want a male child!
I cannot understand what it takes to sacrifice your own needs to fulfill your child's luxuries!
I cannot understand how do you manage all the expenses everyday, every month, every year!
I cannot understand what mental torture you go through when your child becomes adamant!
I cannot understand how guilty you feel when you can't fulfill your child's demand!
I cannot understand growing up a child in an extremely society-driven environment!
I cannot understand how do you get the courage to give birth to a female child in India!
I cannot understand how do you get the courage to kill a female child in the womb!
I cannot understand why do you follow the set rules to lead life here!
I cannot understand why do you force your child to follow the same rules!
I cannot understand how do you deal with your emotions for your girl child, by not expressing them?
I cannot understand how exactly your emotions pop out when the girl child marries and goes away?
I cannot understand your dual state of mind!
I cannot understand your stubborn principles!
I cannot understand how you attach education to a boy and marriage to a girl as a priority!
I cannot understand your insecurity when your girl child dates a boy!
I cannot understand your helplessness when your boy child dates a girl!
I cannot understand your fear that your child should not do anything out-of-the-box!
I cannot understand your constant thought for your child's betterment!
I cannot understand your constant thought for your child's betterment from your perspective!
I cannot understand your outrage for your child's behavior and habits!
I cannot understand the way you back your child in public and morally abuse in person!
I cannot understand how you distant away from your child in his/her teenage!
I cannot understand how you spoon feed your child when he/she finds a companion!
I cannot understand how can't you sense that your grown up child needs you still!
I cannot understand how you do behave so perfectly before the bride or groom's parents?!
I cannot understand why can't you give those smiles to your child everyday! atleast once!
I cannot understand how do you still teach your child to be independent in this world!
I cannot understand how do you expect your child to be independent from a cage!
I cannot understand why are you scared to show your child all the possible ways!
I cannot understand why do you back your child half-heartedly in his/her chosen way!
I cannot understand the way you are unaware of the moral abuse you do to your child!
I cannot understand why do you feel small to learn from your little ones!
I cannot understand why don't you talk about it!
I cannot understand anything!
I just cannot understand!
I cannot try to get into your shoes, but
you have already tried mine!
You know they can cause blisters, body pain,
They can be too tight, too loose!
And there's a changing trend every time!
Let your child's dreams outgrow the shoes of your expectations!
Yours truly,
An Indian kid!
Hello,
Pranaam!
I cannot understand what a nut cracking job it is to be an Indian Parent and I think I never want to!
I cannot understand how pressurize you feel when you want a male child!
I cannot understand what it takes to sacrifice your own needs to fulfill your child's luxuries!
I cannot understand how do you manage all the expenses everyday, every month, every year!
I cannot understand what mental torture you go through when your child becomes adamant!
I cannot understand how guilty you feel when you can't fulfill your child's demand!
I cannot understand growing up a child in an extremely society-driven environment!
I cannot understand how do you get the courage to give birth to a female child in India!
I cannot understand how do you get the courage to kill a female child in the womb!
I cannot understand why do you follow the set rules to lead life here!
I cannot understand why do you force your child to follow the same rules!
I cannot understand how do you deal with your emotions for your girl child, by not expressing them?
I cannot understand how exactly your emotions pop out when the girl child marries and goes away?
I cannot understand your dual state of mind!
I cannot understand your stubborn principles!
I cannot understand how you attach education to a boy and marriage to a girl as a priority!
I cannot understand your insecurity when your girl child dates a boy!
I cannot understand your helplessness when your boy child dates a girl!
I cannot understand your fear that your child should not do anything out-of-the-box!
I cannot understand your constant thought for your child's betterment!
I cannot understand your constant thought for your child's betterment from your perspective!
I cannot understand your outrage for your child's behavior and habits!
I cannot understand the way you back your child in public and morally abuse in person!
I cannot understand how you distant away from your child in his/her teenage!
I cannot understand how you spoon feed your child when he/she finds a companion!
I cannot understand how can't you sense that your grown up child needs you still!
I cannot understand how you do behave so perfectly before the bride or groom's parents?!
I cannot understand why can't you give those smiles to your child everyday! atleast once!
I cannot understand how do you still teach your child to be independent in this world!
I cannot understand how do you expect your child to be independent from a cage!
I cannot understand why are you scared to show your child all the possible ways!
I cannot understand why do you back your child half-heartedly in his/her chosen way!
I cannot understand the way you are unaware of the moral abuse you do to your child!
I cannot understand why do you feel small to learn from your little ones!
I cannot understand why don't you talk about it!
I cannot understand anything!
I just cannot understand!
I cannot try to get into your shoes, but
you have already tried mine!
You know they can cause blisters, body pain,
They can be too tight, too loose!
And there's a changing trend every time!
Let your child's dreams outgrow the shoes of your expectations!
Yours truly,
An Indian kid!
Thursday, 23 November 2017
समतोल
There seems no in between these days. Either we take the spiritual path or lead a life full of chaos. Infact people who think that they have achieved a balanced life; I feel it's all in their head. Then the Chaotic group tries to think like Balanced group and chokes up. It also tries to think like the spiritual group and finds itself lost.
The moral of the story is We all are who we are and let's not try to walk away from it.
But it doesn't end here as well. Either we stick to our basics so strong enough that the person at other end might suffocate or we will completely transform under the influence or inspiration of others. There is no in between here too.
Remember that lemon and spoon race in school? That was not just another sports day activity; it was the Life guidance manual!(Surprisingly yes!) We are all running a lemon and spoon race, with an aim to finish without letting the lemon fall off spoon.
However, we have forgotten that essence is to balance the lemon and not run faster to the finish line!
The essence is also not to cheat by sticking the lemon to the spoon and walking like a king or push other racers!
Also, the rules of this game can be molded once you finish school; It will be allowed if you carry the spoon in your hand instead of mouth; it will be OK to walk weirdly and not think of the embarrassment while your crush watches you; rotten lemons will be okay too,lemons can be replaced with eggs or likewise! You might also get lucky that your lemon fits your spoon accurately!
"Remember even if you loose the balance and everything falls apart, you can still get up, pick up your scattered lemon and spoon and finish the race!"
Monday, 24 October 2016
'एकटेपणा'
एकटेपणाची सवय न्यारी ,
कधी वाटतं उदास ,
तर कधी लइ भारी !
आपण कोण आहोत याचा होतो भास् ,
पण कोणी नाही याचाही होतो त्रास !
दिवस निघुन जातात,
रात्र पलटून जाते;
भल्या मोठ्या या विश्वात,
एकटेपणाची सवय लागते !
विचारांशी तगड़ी मैत्री जमते,
माणसात यायला वेळ लागतो;
सुन्या सुन्या आठवणीत मी रमते,
नाती परत जोडायला वेळ लागतो !
खच्च भरलेली मैफिल ,
खोलीतला तो अंधार ;
एकटेपणाने भिजलेले अश्रु,
आणि खोट्या हास्याचा हाहाकार !
एकटेपणाची सवय न्यारी ,
कधी वाटतं उदास ,
तर कधी लइ भारी !
कधी वाटतं उदास ,
तर कधी लइ भारी !
आपण कोण आहोत याचा होतो भास् ,
पण कोणी नाही याचाही होतो त्रास !
दिवस निघुन जातात,
रात्र पलटून जाते;
भल्या मोठ्या या विश्वात,
एकटेपणाची सवय लागते !
विचारांशी तगड़ी मैत्री जमते,
माणसात यायला वेळ लागतो;
सुन्या सुन्या आठवणीत मी रमते,
नाती परत जोडायला वेळ लागतो !
खच्च भरलेली मैफिल ,
खोलीतला तो अंधार ;
एकटेपणाने भिजलेले अश्रु,
आणि खोट्या हास्याचा हाहाकार !
एकटेपणाची सवय न्यारी ,
कधी वाटतं उदास ,
तर कधी लइ भारी !
Saturday, 15 October 2016
To all MEN!
Well, the title may give an impression that the article here is gonna be all about the domination, the abuse, the patriarchial attitude, etc of most of the Men! However, its NOT!!
Today when we talk about the unequal treatment given to women, their illiteracy, their deprived rights; heart also goes down to all those Men who are constantly judged, verified and are bound to fulfill the established criterias for being a MAN in our society!
Irony is subjective things are judged through categories like Gender, Caste, etc!
I could not recognize a school friend when I met him after a couple of years. The transformation from being a cute delicate boy to a muscled man with those visible abs seemed mandatory for him. To all those who tag visible abs under the definition of fitness, GET A LIFE!
I also heard many of my female friends saying 'Oh, I want a guy like that!' There is always a standard set for guys, by females as well as males! Women jot down a checklist in their head and keep scanning, while Men set a standard for being called a MAN, to which every male must comply to!
Otherwise, they transform the underperformers as Gays! To all those who tag such people under the definition of Gay, GET A LIFE!
A child before birth is pressurized even before its formation to be a boy, then a MAN, then a well settled, well earning Macho MAN. I feel this is equally punishable as to what female foeticide is!
I very well know that Women have to go through a lot in our society. A lot of awareness regimes, empowerment programs, education liberties, etc are started this year and some are already working towards it.But that does not mean Men don't go through all those tragedies!
One cannot judge a book by its cover. Lets not be judgemental.
So,
If you are a man and you don't grow a beard, have a leaner body or you are bald or fat or not a Karta or interested in cooking, classical dancing or any gender-specific activity imprinted on our minds, Don't worry! Just be yourself!
It is absolutely okay not to be a Superman or a Macho man or not to fulfill the standard set for being called a "MAN"!
Love,
Some Women! :)
Today when we talk about the unequal treatment given to women, their illiteracy, their deprived rights; heart also goes down to all those Men who are constantly judged, verified and are bound to fulfill the established criterias for being a MAN in our society!
Irony is subjective things are judged through categories like Gender, Caste, etc!
I could not recognize a school friend when I met him after a couple of years. The transformation from being a cute delicate boy to a muscled man with those visible abs seemed mandatory for him. To all those who tag visible abs under the definition of fitness, GET A LIFE!
I also heard many of my female friends saying 'Oh, I want a guy like that!' There is always a standard set for guys, by females as well as males! Women jot down a checklist in their head and keep scanning, while Men set a standard for being called a MAN, to which every male must comply to!
Otherwise, they transform the underperformers as Gays! To all those who tag such people under the definition of Gay, GET A LIFE!
A child before birth is pressurized even before its formation to be a boy, then a MAN, then a well settled, well earning Macho MAN. I feel this is equally punishable as to what female foeticide is!
I very well know that Women have to go through a lot in our society. A lot of awareness regimes, empowerment programs, education liberties, etc are started this year and some are already working towards it.But that does not mean Men don't go through all those tragedies!
One cannot judge a book by its cover. Lets not be judgemental.
So,
If you are a man and you don't grow a beard, have a leaner body or you are bald or fat or not a Karta or interested in cooking, classical dancing or any gender-specific activity imprinted on our minds, Don't worry! Just be yourself!
It is absolutely okay not to be a Superman or a Macho man or not to fulfill the standard set for being called a "MAN"!
Love,
Some Women! :)
Sunday, 28 August 2016
Mentality!
Those set of directions from brain,
that stop on the boundaries of religion, caste and creed;
That accuses the victim as society's stain,
That causes thousand of minds to bleed,
That brings in the realization of Poverty,
is Cheap Mentality!
That preachings and followings which
don't let a girl walk out after eve,
but cannot stop a guy in the midnight to leave,
That misuses its own rights
and builts up false fights
is Cheap Mentality!
That love games one plays
to reap the benefits of a dearer;
That betrayal one faces,
to realize that ones not nearer;
That which blindly follows the untrue,
and ignores the facts and feelings;
That which burries alive what is true,
and salts the wounds and healings
is Cheap Mentality!
that stop on the boundaries of religion, caste and creed;
That accuses the victim as society's stain,
That causes thousand of minds to bleed,
That brings in the realization of Poverty,
is Cheap Mentality!
That preachings and followings which
don't let a girl walk out after eve,
but cannot stop a guy in the midnight to leave,
That misuses its own rights
and builts up false fights
is Cheap Mentality!
That love games one plays
to reap the benefits of a dearer;
That betrayal one faces,
to realize that ones not nearer;
That which blindly follows the untrue,
and ignores the facts and feelings;
That which burries alive what is true,
and salts the wounds and healings
is Cheap Mentality!
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